Eclipse
by scarylolita
Summary: Sasuke is about to end his miserable life when he gets the chance to go back and change his future. Now he's once again 19 years old and on his way home to Konoha, being given the opportunity to right his worst mistakes. Slash, AU-ish.


**Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto**

 **Inspired a tiny bit by that children's song by Eric Herman. This was going to be a multi-chapter fic, but then it didn't end up being as long as I intended so I just fit it all into one chapter (still divided, though).**

 **Naruto is already the hokage in this story~ I'm changing quite a lot of things because I haven't really looked at Naruto since the ending. I just know that there was that disproved theory that Sarada wasn't Sakura's kid. I decided to play with that a bit nonetheless.**

 **Warnings** **: mentions of past relationships, OOC behaviour probably, AUish**

* * *

 **Prologue:**

Sasuke is thirty-nine years old and he's tired. He's so, so tired and every day pains him. This isn't how things were supposed to turn out. Sasuke fucked up a lot in his life, but his most recent fuck up is, by far, his worst. Now he has nothing left. He has an ex-wife, a daughter that hates him and an uptight Hokage who has long lost respect for him. Sasuke got what he wanted all those years ago. Now, he truly is alone. He never expected it to hurt this much.

Right now, he's standing on the remains of Madara's statue at the Valley of the End. Sasuke can't help but think it's a fitting place to finish things. Here, there's history – his history with Naruto… with the world. This is where he last formed the seal of reconciliation with Naruto. He thought, for a moment, that was how it would end – with just them. He wouldn't have minded. There were times he wanted Naruto to kill him, just so the pain would stop. But it never _truly_ stops.

Sasuke returned to Konoha for Naruto, but also for himself and for his daughter. It was a promise he made and it was a promise he vowed to keep.

He returned home with a baby, a tiny bundle with dark hair and equally dark eyes – just like Sasuke's. The circumstance of her birth was a secret he kept for a long time. It was silly of him to think that things would be the same when he was returning with a child.

So, he spent most of his time on the sidelines raising a daughter. Sakura helped, always by his side. Naruto had other responsibilities. He was now a village leader. Sasuke tried being happy for the fool because to simply exist together in a world with Naruto would be good enough for Sasuke. He knew Naruto would never be his. He tried to get used to the idea that Naruto would someday fall in love with a girl and he'd give himself away to her.

Sasuke remembers the day it happened. With the biggest grin, he approached Sasuke. " _Guess what, guess what?"_ he had asked giddily. Sasuke wasn't one for guessing games, so Naruto relented and told him. " _I'm getting married_."

Sasuke couldn't help but think that the woman Naruto was to marry would be very lucky. He remembers the day it happened – the day of Naruto's wedding. Hinata looked so beautiful dressed in lace and Naruto smiled the entire time. Sasuke could see the love in his eyes. He watched Naruto fall in love all over again. Then there was Sakura, sitting right next to Sasuke during the ceremony. The next wedding in Konoha was theirs. It had to be this way.

Sasuke remembers when Naruto came up to him once again asking, " _Guess what, guess what?"_ Sasuke shrugged and Naruto once again relented. " _Hinata's is pregnant! I'm going to be a father!"_ For Naruto, Sasuke mustered up one of his rare smiles and he told his friend he was happy for him. Once again, there was Sakura. They tried to have a child together. Sakura wanted a child with the man she loved, but she could never get pregnant. Nonetheless, they were happy… For a time, at least.

Sasuke remembers all of these milestones. He remembers watching his daughter grow up from a distance as he played the part of an absent father and absent husband. She's no longer a little girl now. She's a woman. He sees her around sometimes, mostly with Naruto's children. His gaze will linger and she'll sneer. The last thing she said to Sasuke was, " _I hate you."_ It didn't surprise him. He always knew his constant absences would take a toll on their relationship. When he separated from Sakura, it only got worse. She couldn't bear to look at him. " _I hate you father_ ," she whispered wetly. " _I hate you_." And Sasuke knew they were words he deserved to hear.

" _Sasuke, you keep fucking up_ ," Naruto said to him and Sasuke couldn't deny it. " _I can't keep forgiving it_."

Sakura's parting words were what hit him hardest. " _You would knock me down continuously and then get frustrated when I could no longer stand back up_ ," she had said shakily. " _And for some reason, I still loved you. I still married you. I still raised your child – a child you had with another woman. I played housewife to a man who did nothing but hurt me for so long… and I don't know why."_

" _Do you still?"_ he had asked, sounding cold.

" _What?"_

" _Do you still love me?"_

" _No_ ," she confessed. " _No, I don't. I'll always feel something for you… but it's not love_." And with that, she took Sarada and they were gone.

Soon enough, Sasuke will be gone, too. He stares up at the orange sky, squinting. The sun is going down, then the moon will rise.

He already knows how everything will play out. A stranger will find his body – perhaps an ANBU. Sakura will mourn, even though she shouldn't. She and Naruto will comfort one another while Kakashi tries to tell them it's not their fault. But still, there will be blame. The funeral will be small. There won't be any tears. He's fine with that. He doesn't expect anyone to cry for him. Too much has happened.

Maybe this is what he has to do. Maybe it's all he can do. For Sakura, for Sarada… and for Naruto, he'll go away. He'll become nothing more than a memory. Hopefully, when they think of his name, they'll remember some of the good and not just the bad.

He takes a deep breath. "I'm ready," he murmurs to himself, spreading his arms before letting himself fall forward.

Going, going, going… _gone_.

* * *

 _Have you ever heard the story of the sun and the moon?_

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **1:**

Sasuke gasps and stumbles as a sharp, heavy sensation shoots towards his chest. He winces, letting out a pained moan. His eyes are squeezed shut, but when he opens them he isn't where he was mere moments earlier.

"What?" he whispers aloud, staring up at the front gates to Konoha before staring down at the child in his arm. "Sarada…? But I was just…" he pauses, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

He jumped. Right?

He was supposed to die, but he didn't. Instead, something else happened – something Sasuke can't quite explain. He moved backwards – twenty years into the past. He's no longer thirty-nine. He's nineteen.

It's bright. He stares up and squints. He remembers this day, but vaguely. It was the day he returned home to Konoha. He left to become a better person, but he returned much worse.

As the painful feeling in his chest begins to wane, Sasuke forces himself to take a step forward.

He wonders if this is some sort of heaven, or perhaps it is purgatory. Then again, maybe it's hell. Maybe his hell is to live through all of his mistakes yet again. Nonetheless, he'll try to right at least a few wrongs. If the universe will let him, that is.

Sasuke walks through the gates, trying to portray an air of confidence the way he did the first time. He went straight to the Hokage and received a pardon for his absence.

This time, he doesn't go to the Hokage. Instead, he goes to the old Uchiha compound. If the Hokage needs to find him, he'll know where to look.

Sasuke walks leisurely, refusing to look like he has something to hide. He feels people staring at him, at the child in his arm. He ignores them all.

Back home, everything is the same as it was since he left.

Sasuke sits outside on the wooden stairs holding Sarada. He's running out of supplies. He'll need to buy her some milk. He rocks her back and forth as she coos, half asleep and half awake. Sasuke stares down at her, mesmerized until he hears a twig snap. His neck snaps up, but instead of a threat he sees Naruto.

He catches a look of surprise make its way across Naruto's face when he spots the baby, but he masks it quickly with a welcoming smile. There Naruto is – blond hair, blue eyes and a matured face – once again wearing a smile so bright it could blind you. Sasuke takes comfort in seeing it. It's something he hasn't witnessed in a long, long time. "Sas-KEHHH!" he shouts accusingly at the top of his lungs.

Sasuke winces at the familiar sound of Naruto's scratchy, hoarse voice. "Hokage," Sasuke returns the greeting solemnly before staring back down at Sarada.

"That's twice you've run away," Naruto accuses.

"Well, I'm back and this time I'm staying."

When Sasuke first heard he would become a father, he hoped for a boy – a boy to carry on the Uchiha bloodline and the sharingan. But he got a girl. Now he understands that it's for the best. A cursed clan such as his doesn't need to live on.

"The villagers are talking," Naruto says in a calmer tone. "They said they saw you. I hardly believed them. I had to see for myself."

"Well, here I am," Sasuke responds.

"With a child," Naruto murmurs. "Whose child is that?"

"Mine," Sasuke says, gaging Naruto's reaction.

Naruto's face remains perfectly blank. "How?"

"I had sex with a girl," Sasuke explains flatly. "She got pregnant."

Naruto gets flustered. "That's not what I meant!" he snaps.

Sasuke smiles at Naruto's pink cheeks. "Don't worry about it, Hokage. It doesn't concern you." He stands up and turns around.

"Invite me in," Naruto demands before Sasuke can leave him standing alone.

With a sigh, Sasuke relents. "Come in, Hokage," he says humbly, glancing at Naruto before stepping into his childhood home.

Naruto follows him inside. "You've been gone for two years," he murmurs suddenly. "I guess it was stupid of me to think we could just pick up where we left off."

"You're always so hopeful when it comes to me," Sasuke murmurs.

Naruto smiles sadly. "You forced me to learn many lessons the hard way."

"Such as…?"

"You can't save everyone. Sometimes, you need to let people go and they'll return on their own. They'll return when they're ready. I wanted so desperately to save you from yourself and from Orochimaru and all the people who were using you… but you didn't want me to. You just pushed me further and further away. Nonetheless, I kept chasing…"

"All because we're friends," Sasuke finishes.

"Not just friends," Naruto says to him. "You were my first friend. My best friend. You looked down on me, sure, but not in the way other people did. You never thought I was bad. You just thought I was stupid."

"You _are_ stupid," Sasuke murmurs.

Naruto chuckles. "Maybe a little bit… but at least I don't run away from things, Sasuke- _chan_."

Sasuke is about to protest the nickname when he realizes something. "Hey, we're the same height now…"

Naruto grins at that. "But you gotta admit I have more muscle." He pauses and flexes, letting out a laugh before adding, "I grew a lot, you know! You just missed it because you ran off again." Another pause. "So, did you miss me?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes at the neediness.

"Aw, just admit you did!"

"No," Sasuke murmurs.

Naruto smiles again. "That's fine. You don't have to say it out loud. I can read you well enough to know you missed me lots."

Sasuke stares at him, recalling a time when Naruto was many inches smaller than even Sakura. Naruto wears his hair shorter now. His face has matured. He even sounds different, more serious. Sasuke knows it's because of the war. People died. Naruto was never quite the same after it happened. He lost friends and his friends lost parents.

"Anyway," Naruto adds softly, sensing that Sasuke drifting. "I'll leave you to get settled. I'll check back tonight."

"You don't have to," Sasuke tells him.

"I want to," Naruto insists, leaving before Sasuke can object again.

Sasuke frowns, watching him go. Once again, he stares down at Sarada – living proof of what happened while he was away. He'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt to look at her. He lets out a breath, trying to find the strength to venture out into town.

A lot is supposed to happen this year. This is the year Naruto is to fall in love with Hinata. This is the year Sasuke began drinking. This is the year Sakura became a permanent force in Sasuke's life. She would always pick up all the fractured pieces of Sasuke, putting them back together each night before the morning came. She never understood what happened to him. She never understood why he found solace in substances that numbed his mind. He never spoke to her – not about the things that mattered. But still, she was patient and kind and loving. He always took advantage.

Sakura took care of Sarada. Sasuke was often gone, but Sakura pretended not to mind and she was truly happy when Sasuke asked her to marry him. It was what everyone expected him to do. It was what everyone wanted – everyone except for Sasuke. Nonetheless, he pushed his wants and needs aside. He tried to push his pain aside as well, but it didn't work as well. He tried to be selfless, but he ended up more selfish than ever. Everything he did was for the wrong reason.

* * *

As it gets later, Sarada begins crying. Sasuke feeds her and changes her and then lays her down the center of his mattress. He slumps down to the floor, sitting with his back against the bed. He lets out a breath, wondering if it will get any easier. It's hard to take care of a child, but it's even harder with only one arm – something he'll never get back… unlike Naruto, who is given special treatment for being the Hokage.

Sasuke draws his knees to his chest, pressing his face into them. He's tired. So, so tired, but he hasn't slept in years. If he were to be honest with himself, he would admit that he's too scared to sleep and he began to have nightmares. They keep him awake.

When he feels himself begin to drift, there's a knock on his door. He forces himself to his feet before walking down the hall. Opening the door, he sees Naruto, but this time he isn't alone.

"Sakura," Sasuke greets the pink-haired girl in a somewhat questioning tone of voice. "And Kakashi."

Kakashi is wearing his usual mask – one Sasuke has never seen him without.

Sakura, on the other hand, has changed. She has grown into her looks. People have no reason to make fun of her now. Her hair has a bit of a curl and there's the ever-present teal diamond on her forehead – a source of great power. She appears more feminine, but Sasuke knows she still has the strength of a million angry men. Her punch packs more strength than Sasuke and Naruto put together.

Seeing her in front of him like this makes him feel guilty about all the pain her put her through in his past life. He forced her to stay at home and raise a child that wasn't even hers. Of course Sakura grew to love Sarada like her own, but it was never fair of Sasuke in the first place to do what he did. He took away so much of Sakura's life. It took her a long time to finally leave him.

This time, things will be different. He'll make sure of that.

"Sasuke…" she breathes, shoulders slumping. "You're really back." They're all carrying shopping bags. Sakura catches him staring and raises the bag in her arms, saying, "You probably don't have any food, so we brought some things over…"

"Thank you," he says curtly, opening the door further and allowing them both to step inside. They move towards the kitchen and Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi all begin emptying the bags.

"You bought quite a lot," Sasuke notes.

"Well, you've been gone two years," Naruto reasons. "We decided to stock your pantry as a welcome home present."

"How kind," Sasuke murmurs.

Before he can say anything more, the sound of crying is heard from down the hall. Sasuke lets out a sharp sigh, trying not to show his frustration.

"What's that?" Sakura asks, sounding unsettled.

"You didn't tell her?" Sasuke asks, glancing at Naruto, who shakes his head. He raises an eyebrow at Naruto before turning away and moving down the hall, back into his bedroom. He picks Sarada up and walks back into the kitchen.

Sakura's mouth falls open when she sets her eyes on the baby. "A baby…" she says in disbelief. "Yours?" she asks and when Sasuke nods, she pries with the same question Naruto had: "How?"

"I had sex," he says for the second time.

Kakashi chortles at that, finding the exchange humorous.

Sakura doesn't blush the way Naruto did. Instead, she simply frowns. "That isn't what I meant. You _know_ what I meant."

Sasuke doesn't respond. Instead, he says, "Look, I'm tired… and I haven't slept in a long time, so I probably won't be good company. You should leave."

"Sasuke, we can help you," Naruto tries. "You can't do it all on your own…"

"Yes, I can," Sasuke retorts tersely. "I've been doing it on my own for a while."

Sakura frowns piteously. "Then… perhaps the point is that you don't have to do it on your own anymore, Sasuke… You're not alone now. How are you going to take care of yourself if you have to watch a child every hour of the day? Let us help you."

Sasuke closes his eyes. "I can't," he whispers. "Please, leave."

With piteous glances, they relent… but Sasuke knows that they'll be back again tomorrow. They're stubborn. They've always been stubborn.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **2:**

Come morning, Sasuke's eyes feel dry as sandpaper. He rubs them, sniffling and praying that he isn't getting sick. He can't afford to get sick.

Naruto comes over again. This time, he has a box with a picture of a crib on it. "I come bearing gifts," he says, pushing past Sasuke and letting himself in. "Where do you want this thing?"

"My room…" Sasuke says, "but Sarada is sleeping."

"You sound off," Naruto accuses. "Are you getting sick?"

"I hope not."

Naruto shrugs it off for now, moving into the living room. "We can set it up here and roll it into your room later. Now, I've never built one of these things before, so it might take me a while." He kneels on the floor, opening the box and reading through the instruction manual.

Sasuke kneels next to him. "You don't have to keep doing things for me."

"I want to," Naruto says simply.

"You're not busy?"

"No," Naruto responds. "These days, the village is very peaceful. That means my job is easier than it was for my predecessors."

"Fine, Hokage."

Naruto lets out a sharp sigh. "I don't like when you call me that."

"It's your title," Sasuke reminds him. "You should be proud to be called Hokage."

"But you're my best friend and I want you to call me by my name," Naruto says. "Please?"

"Fine, _Naruto_ ," Sasuke says pointedly. He takes off the scarf and lets his hair hang free.

Naruto smiles, reaching a hand forward and touching the feathery, black strands of hair. "No more duck butt?"

"Guess not," Sasuke responds, smiling in return. "I decided to grow it out. And you cut yours shorter? It looks good."

"So does yours," Naruto says. "Shit, you've changed… but you still got that pretty boy thing going on, Sasuke- _chan_."

"I told you not to call me that," Sasuke reminds him tartly.

Naruto simply chuckles. "Go shower and make yourself something to eat," he adds. "I'll listen for any cries. Don't worry, I'm good with babies. They love me."

Sasuke hesitates. He's never left Sarada alone with anyone before. He's been taking care of her since he was left alone with her. He hasn't been able to trust anyone else with her. Sarada is all Sasuke has. She's his blood. This time, he won't ruin that. This time, she won't grow to hate him.

"Go," Naruto pushes.

But he can trust Naruto. He knows he can. So, with a sigh, Sasuke relents. "Fine," he murmurs, turning away.

He moves down the hall, into his bedroom before grabbing a change of clothing. He watches Sarada for a moment. She's fast asleep, breathing peacefully.

In the bathroom, he turns on the shower taps before undressing and stepping inside. He washes and rinses himself briskly before stepping out and turning off the taps. He grabs a towel, drying off and putting on a t-shirt and a pair of quarter-length cotton pants.

He wipes the condensation off of the mirror, staring at himself. He looks tired. His body is scarred from years of torment. There are dark marks below his eyes, showing just how drained he really is. He sighs at himself, though he has no reason to worry about it. He has no one he needs to impress. Not anymore.

He can't help but wonder if Naruto was happy with Hinata… if he _will_ be happy with her. 'I should have thought to ask him,' he thinks to himself. He could see love, but did it last?

When he's finished, he checks on Sarada once more before returning to the living room. He kneels back down with Naruto, who is still working on the crib.

"It's coming along," Sasuke says.

"Yeah, it's not as hard as I thought it'd be," Naruto admits with a laugh. "Your daughter didn't cry."

"She always sleeps through the day… but then she's up all night."

Naruto smiles sympathetically. "So… how old is she?"

"Four months old," Sasuke tells Naruto.

"Is she the reason you came back here?"

"Somewhat. I didn't want to keep running around with her."

Naruto nods his head. Sasuke can tell he wants to ask more questions, but he won't. Not yet. He'll wait and give Sasuke space until the curiosity gets the best of him.

"Sakura is still in love with you, y'know," Naruto mentions suddenly.

"I know," Sasuke murmurs back. "I'm not going to do anything about it and if she confesses I'll turn her down gently."

"Why?" Naruto pries. "She's beautiful and kind and strong and she cares about you."

"I wouldn't make her happy," Sasuke says, now sure of it. "In the short run, perhaps… but in the long run, things would become ruined."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

Naruto lets out a sharp sigh. "Sasuke, you can't know a thing like that –"

Sasuke grows impatient. "I've already done all of this before! I can't do it again, I'll fucking die!" he shouts before he can censor himself. He's losing his temper. Naruto always brings out a more emotional side to the Uchiha.

Naruto frowns, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke shakes his head at his slip. "Never mind… It's nothing." A pause. "I don't know what she sees in me."

"Lots of things," Naruto considers, continuing to chat with Sasuke as he works on the crib. "You're a pretty guy. You're strong. When you care about something, you care a lot. You've softened through the years, not much… but a little bit."

"None of those are reasons she should want to be with me," Sasuke murmurs. "I was never good to her. I treated her poorly. I told her she was weak, annoying… I never said sorry for any of it."

"But you regret it," Naruto says knowingly, "and I'm sure she's aware of that."

"That doesn't matter now."

"Sure it does," Naruto argues. "You're a bit of a neurotic guy, but you're not bad. You've learned from your mistakes and that definitely matters. Not all people end up learning from their mistakes. So it means something that you were able to."

Sasuke scoffs. "It took me long enough…"

"That's beside the point," Naruto insists. "Plus, you were hurt a lot and abused a lot. It's no wonder you weren't kind all the time."

"You were hurt, too," Sasuke points out, "and you didn't go around hurting others the way I did. You and me… We're the exact opposite, though we have these things in common."

Naruto smiles a small, sad smile. "I guess the point is that we're just two very different people. We had different goals. You were loved and I was hated. Perhaps that's why I am the way I am. I wanted to prove myself to everyone else. You only wanted to prove yourself to… well, yourself."

Sasuke decides to wisely stop arguing, knowing he likely won't win. No one wins in arguments against Naruto. Naruto can go all day.

Once the crib is built, Naruto stands up to admire his work. Quietly, they bring it into Sasuke's bedroom and place it in the corner. Sasuke lifts Sarada up gently, she gurgles, but she doesn't cry. Sasuke sets her down in the crib gently, watching her for a few minutes.

Naruto hovers behind Sasuke. "It's strange seeing you with a baby."

"I know," Sasuke admits.

"Why won't you tell me who the mother is?"

Sasuke lets out a sharp sigh, turning and leaving the room. "I don't want to talk about it," he says as Naruto follows him.

"She died, didn't she?" Naruto assumes the worst. "That's why you don't want to talk about it."

Sasuke glances at Naruto. "Maybe I just hate her."

"That's not it, though," Naruto says knowingly. "I can read you, Sasuke. Just like you can read me. We've always been able to read each other."

Sasuke stares at Naruto with fondness. "I suppose so."

Naruto shrugs it off. "Fine, I'll stop prying for now… but please talk to me when you're ready. I wanna be here for you if you let me. I think it would help for you to have someone to talk to because I know you probably haven't ever trusted anyone in your life."

"Fair enough," Sasuke murmurs.

"Anyway, after you settle in you should come see me and we'll work on getting you a job," Naruto suggests.

"I'm a genin," Sasuke deadpans.

Naruto chuckles. "Yeah, so was I before coming Hokage. I never took the chuunin exam after I failed it. You could teach, you know. I think that you'd have a lot to teach."

"Would the parents be okay with that?" Sasuke wonders.

"No one resents you," Naruto promises. "A lot of time has passed and everyone has pretty much forgiven the things you did. I mean, people know the entire story by now. They mostly just pity you… which is probably not what you want to hear, but it's better than having them fear you or hate you. So, use it to your advantage."

Sasuke snorts back a laugh at the uncharacteristic suggestion. "All right. Then I'll teach."

Naruto smiles wide. "I bet you'll be good at it. Plus, the kids will be safest with a guy like you should anything happen."

Sasuke shakes his head at Naruto. "You put too much faith in me."

"No, I don't," Naruto insists. "It's nothing you don't deserve."

Sasuke finds it hard to believe, but he doesn't argue. Instead, he simply smiles back.

* * *

Naruto doesn't hover much longer after that. He goes home, but Sasuke knows he'll be back. He always is. But for now, Sasuke is left alone.

Sasuke returns to his room and looks down into the crib where Sarada is lying. "Hi," he whispers as she stares up at him. It makes his chest ache when he thinks of the very real possibility of losing her. The ninja world is cruel. Someday, she'll be in the academy. Someday, she'll be a genin, a chuunin, a jounin… She'll be sent on missions and maybe someday there will be one she doesn't return from. He recalls all of the missions he went on as a child and how so many of them went wrong. They ran into danger. They got hurt. It was kill or be killed – so, as children, they killed.

Sasuke remembers the first person he killed. He remembers how it felt. He remembers how easy it got the more he was forced to do it. He remembers how he began to think less and less of it. It became a normal part of life.

It scares him to think about Sarada doing these things. He wants her to stay young and smiling forever. He doesn't want her to have to deal with fear, death, destruction and other painful realities.

In his past life, she grew up, she lived, but she hardened in ways similar to Sasuke. She grew spiteful and hateful and much of it was directed towards Sasuke because he kept his distance. He won't make the same mistake twice. This time, he'll be the father he wished he'd been.

Sasuke lets out a breath and he sees something clear fall onto her face. 'I'm crying,' he realizes, standing up straight and bringing his hand up to swipe the tears away. He stares down at the dampness on his fingertips, finding it strange and foreign. He hasn't cried in years – not since his last fight with Naruto. They were happy tears, however. They were tears of relief. These aren't.

Yes, the ninja world is a cruel one.

.

.

.

 **3:**

The following days are quiet. Sasuke mostly spends time trying to settle back into life in Konoha. He tries to vow not to leave ever again, but the potential is still tantalizing. He doesn't feel like he belongs in Konoha anymore and the largest part of him hates being here. It isn't just the bad memories, it's the people, too. He knows that he'll never be fully, truly accepted back into the ninja world by the town he once betrayed. Naruto may be optimistic, but Sasuke isn't. He understands that he did wrong and many people won't be sympathetic towards him regardless of his reasoning.

Sakura, Kakashi and Naruto have been visiting frequently. Sometimes they bring others with them – people like Ino, Kiba, Shikamaru. Just like everyone else, they were surprised to see Sasuke with a baby. He's sure it has gotten around town by now and he's sure that everyone is trying to figure out who the mother is. He knows that it can't stay a secret forever, but he'll try and keep it quiet for as long as he can. He isn't ready to talk about it – let alone say her name.

Sasuke eventually decides to leave his house and venture outside with Sarada. He catches people staring, but he tries not to pay any mind to it. He puts on a look of content and doesn't let it bother him. He knows he's young and he knows that a lot of people would consider what he did a mistake – but he doesn't. His daughter isn't a mistake.

He walks towards the center of the town and into the administrative building. Inside, he knows he'll find Naruto in his office. In the lobby, however, he spots Tsunade. She approaches him and says, "Sasuke, I heard you were back." Sasuke bows his head to the older woman. He catches her staring at Sarada, but she doesn't question him. Instead, she adds, "Let me take you to Naruto."

Sasuke thanks her as she leads him to the top floor and down a hallway. She knocks before simply letting herself in.

The first thing Sasuke sees is a desk. On it, a huge stack of paperwork. Behind it, Naruto.

"Naruto," Tsunade starts, pulling him away from his thoughts. "Sasuke is here to see you."

Naruto raises his head and smiles. "Thanks." With that, Tsunade nods and leaves the two friends alone.

"Hokage," Sasuke greets him.

"Hey, Sasuke. Come for work?"

"I've been thinking about that," he says offhandedly, staring down at Sarada. "It's not a good time for me to be distracted. I want to be home with my daughter until she's a little older."

"There are daycares, Sasuke," Naruto points out.

"I don't want to put her in a daycare," Sasuke says protectively. "I don't trust anyone with her."

Naruto gestures to the sofa in the center of the room. "Sit," he says to Sasuke, who obeys. Naruto stands up, moving in front of his desk and standing in front of him. "You _cannot_ raise her without help, Sasuke."

"I have been," he argues.

"And look at yourself," Naruto murmurs. "You're a mess. You're tired. You barely sleep. Don't think I haven't noticed. You need a break, Sasuke. You carry your daughter around with you everywhere… but it's not healthy. You're over-parenting. Kids need to be socialized. You need to let her be around other people."

Sasuke frowns. He never thought about it that way before and he has a hard time disagreeing. "I suppose," he relents, not bothering to deny it.

Naruto stands up from his desk and nears Sasuke. "Come on; let's go to the daycare center."

* * *

Together, the two men leave the building and Naruto leads Sasuke to the town daycare. It's a colourful building with a playground. Outside there are children playing – children of all ages.

When they walk inside, Naruto greets an old woman. She seems happy to see him. Naruto does most of the talking and Sasuke signs some papers when he's finished.

Tomorrow Sasuke will drop her off for her first day of daycare. He feels nervous about it, though Naruto keeps insisting he has no reason to feel nervous.

"It'll be my first time being away from her," he says as they make their way back to the Uchiha compound.

"It'll be good for the both of you," Naruto promises.

"I know," Sasuke relents in a soft murmur.

When they reach Sasuke's home, Naruto invites himself in.

"She's really well-behaved," Naruto says. "She hasn't cried at all."

"She's pretty quiet," Sasuke agrees, staring down at her. "She just cries when she wants something, but other than that… She's quiet."

"She's a lot like you. Observant. She probably just tries to take everything in and make sense of it as best as she can."

Sasuke smiles faintly at that. "I'm going to put her in her crib. She's probably tired."

Naruto nods and accompanies Sasuke, watching as he sets the child down.

"You know, you're a lot different than I thought you'd be," Naruto says out of the blue.

"How?" Sasuke pries as they exit the dim room.

"I thought it would take a lot more for you to soften up to me and everyone else," Naruto explains. "But… there's something really kind about you."

"Maybe it's because I'm a father," Sasuke says, though he knows that's not entirely the case. He just doesn't want to repeat old, past mistakes. He wants to be a better person for himself, for his daughter, for Naruto, for Sakura and everyone else he hurt.

"Sakura has noticed it," Naruto mentions.

Sasuke lets out an impatient breath. He doesn't want to keep having this conversation.

"What is it?" Naruto asks, concerned.

"I can't _be_ with Sakura," Sasuke says impatiently, staring intensely at Naruto and trying to get him to understand it. "Stop trying to force it."

"Why, though?" Naruto pries. "It would make her happy."

Sasuke shakes his head and insists firmly, "It wouldn't make her happy. It wouldn't make me happy, either."

"Why? Because of Sarada's mother?"

"That… and other things," Sasuke murmurs. "It's complicated."

"Fine," Naruto sighs, relenting for the time being, but Sasuke knows it won't last. Naruto isn't a patient person by nature. He will soon be demanding answers.

Sasuke doesn't feel like he will ever be able to get the words out. There are many things he has a difficult time acknowledging, let alone saying out loud. They are terrible memories and even more terrible realities. It almost seems cruel for him to have to revisit them… but he knows he will have to. Someday, somehow, he will have to. Someday, somehow, he will tell Naruto these stories.

"Do you believe in soul mates?" Sasuke asks out of the blue. He wants to change the subject, but he is also curious. It seems like a concept Naruto would like, but he could be wrong.

Naruto snorts. "Not really. Maybe I used to, but I don't know about now."

Sasuke can't help but give a wry smile at that. "So, you're a bit of a cynic these days?"

"No," Naruto argues, "but I'm definitely no romantic. If soul mates exist… I don't think it has to be about romance. If soul mates were real, I think you'd be mine."

Sasuke's throat goes dry and there's a pang in his chest. He feels almost like Naruto is taunting him – dangling that thin thread of desire in front of him, waving it back and forth. Of course, he knows Naruto would never really do that, especially if he knew how Sasuke felt. Sasuke can't help but wonder how he would react. Would he run away? Would he find it wrong? Would he still consider Sasuke his most precious person?

"Why me?" is all Sasuke musters up.

"Because we get one another," Naruto explains. "We connect on a deeper level. I don't have that with anyone else – not with Sakura, not with Gaara, not with any of my other friends. It's just you."

"Ah," Sasuke muses. "Then I suppose that makes me special."

"Yeah," Naruto says with a laugh. "Probably."

"I feel similarly," Sasuke decides to add.

Naruto smiles at that. "Good to know."

* * *

True to his word, Naruto sets Sasuke up with a job as an instructor at the academy. The new school year is approaching and shinobi classes are filling up with children who are eager to learn taijutsu, ninjutsu and genjutsu.

When the day finally comes, Sasuke is standing in front of a classroom full of children who _ooh_ and _ahh_ at his presence.

He writes his name on the chalkboard, though he knows it is hardly necessary. These children know of him. They likely heard stories from their families, their friends and their history books. He can't help but wonder what their families and friends have told them. He can't help but wonder if the history books were cruel or kind in their depictions. He feels like the former is much likelier. He doesn't feel like he deserves to be shown in a kind light, but he does want some sort of redemption. This is how he will get it. He will prove to anyone who fears him that he isn't going to do wrong. Not again. Not this time. This time, he will do the right thing. He will help shape the future generation on their way to becoming genin.

When he is finished writing his name, he turns around and forces a smile.

"Hello, as many of you may know, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. I will be your teacher."

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **4:**

Sasuke's first day came and went. He has two lives of experience as a ninja – which is more than anyone else can say. He knows he is capable of this job, but he hopes he won't come off as too cold. After work, he picked Sarada up from daycare and the two of them went home.

Naruto shows up at the Uchiha compound at the end of the week, asking how Sasuke's is finding his new work.

"I think the children are very much afraid of me," Sasuke says to Naruto.

"That's not a bad thing," Naruto responds with a chuckle. "That means they won't try to walk all over you. They will take you seriously."

"Are people bothered by my presence?" the dark haired male questions. "Teachers are influential. I know that there will be people who are afraid I will be a bad influence on their children. It's inevitable."

"No –" Naruto starts, but Sasuke cuts him off.

"Lying doesn't become you, Naruto. And you're not very good at it."

Naruto smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, yeah… I got a few complaints from _concerned_ parents."

"Of course," Sasuke murmurs, trying not to let his discourage him. "How did you handle the complaints?"

"I told them that I know what I'm doing," Naruto assures. "I didn't force you into a job I didn't think you'd be a good at. I know you'll be good at this. You have a lot to offer. Eventually, everyone will see that."

Sasuke smiles bleakly. "You have too much faith in me."

"No," Naruto disagrees. "I have the right and fair amount of faith in you."

Sasuke still feels like it is too much. He remembers how Naruto's faith in him dwindled as the years went on. He is determined not to let that happen this time. He wants for Naruto to always think good thoughts about him.

"What is it?" Naruto asks when Sasuke is silent.

"I'm just thinking," Sasuke says vaguely.

"Want to talk?" Naruto offers.

"You always want to talk," Sasuke points out.

"And you never do," Naruto retorts. "I feel like you have so many secrets. It bothers me that you keep them from me, but I understand… I know that there are things too difficult to talk about. I know I shouldn't keep pushing you, but I get curious."

"I know," Sasuke says with a weary smile.

Naruto hesitates for a moment before once again bringing up the topic of dating. "You should ask Sakura out. Do you know how happy it would make her?"

Sasuke wants to groan, but he keeps it in. "It's complicated, Naruto," he says yet again. He feels like he has to keep saying because Naruto won't stop prying.

"You keep saying that…" Naruto points out.

"Because it is true."

"Then un-complicate it," Naruto challenges.

For a while, they're both quiet. Sasuke nods for Naruto to follow him out of the hallway and into the living room. Once seated, Sasuke closes his eyes, feeling truly afraid for the first time in a while. He doesn't want to change the way Naruto sees him, but it might be inevitable. Things like this always change people. Things like this always change the way one is seen. The last thing Sasuke wants is for Naruto to think less of him.

"I… I am not attracted to women…" he whispers the confession for the first time, needing Naruto to understand. "I am attracted to men. I don't know why. I just am. So, it doesn't matter what Sakura feels for me. It won't ever work out because I can't fall in love with her. She wants something from me that I can't ever return. It wouldn't be fair to her or to myself."

Naruto's eyes widen in surprise. He makes an 'o' shape with his mouth, but for a while he's perfectly silent.

"Say something," Sasuke pleads, not wanting Naruto to think him strange.

"It's fine with me," Naruto says gently, putting a hand on Sasuke's shoulder and squeezing. "I mean, I'm sure you're not the only guy around who likes other guys… Between you and me, I always suspected Gaara might not be interested in the ladies." He smiles a small smile, shrugging.

Sasuke rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue.

"We're young," Naruto continues in a more serious tone. "You'll find someone…"

"Mm…" Sasuke muses. "It isn't natural, is it?"

"Yes, it is," Naruto argues. "If it occurs in nature, then it's natural… and we're all part of nature. The land, the sea, the trees, the animals and us… This is perfectly normal."

And, somehow, it eases Sasuke.

Naruto is frowning. "It must have been hard not to tell anyone. Secrets make things difficult."

"I always feared people finding out," Sasuke confesses. "I didn't know how people would react… but I've known since I was very small. I tried to push it aside, but these things can never be pushed aside. To push it aside would be to lie to myself. I could only do it for so long."

This is why his marriage was doomed from the start. This is why he distanced himself from Sakura, from Sarada and from Naruto. He tried to keep himself safe, but he only ended up hurting everyone in his life and the pain he felt only grew.

"Thank you for telling me," Naruto says.

"Thank you for listening," Sasuke returns.

Naruto smiles. "You're my best friend. Of course I'd listen." He begins to frown and then he asks, "How did you know?"

"I just… did," the other man responds simply. "My feelings were always clear to me."

Naruto simply nods his head. "I've always wondered about things like that."

Sasuke glances at Naruto. "How do you mean?"

"Just... I'm curious, you know. I'm a curious person."

"Oh," Sasuke says. "Yeah, I know you are."

* * *

Later in the night, Naruto leaves Sasuke's home and meets Sakura at Ichiraku Ramen. It is a place he still frequents. Now that he is Hokage, money is no longer an issue and he can afford to eat as much as he wants without having to plead for seconds.

"I hear Sasuke is teaching at the academy," Sakura mentions. She just returned from a mission. She was gone for a week with Hinata and Ino. "I didn't expect him to become an instructor."

"He will be good at it," Naruto says knowingly. "He has a lot of knowledge." He glances at the pink haired girl and sees the love in her eyes as she thinks about their other teammate. "Forget about him, Sakura," he murmurs.

She eyes him, frowning. "Why are you saying that? Usually you tell me to go for it. What changed your mind? Did he say something?"

"He's not interested," Naruto murmurs. "He probably never will be. He's too busy concentrating on other things and, honestly, you deserve someone who will give you their time. So, look elsewhere. Move on."

"Move on how? With you?" she asks tersely.

"No not with me," he responds. "I'm not in love with you like I was when I was little. Sure, I love you… but not like that. We tried being together already. It didn't work, remember?"

"Yeah," she whispers. She looks distraught. "I… I love him so much. I don't know what to do."

"I know," Naruto whispers back.

"I should… I should talk to him," she muses. "Maybe there's something I can say to make him understand how I feel."

"Sakura, there's nothing you can say," Naruto tells her somewhat pleadingly. He wants to save her from the heartache of blatant rejection.

"How come?" she asks weakly. "Why are you so sure? Why are you telling me all of this? What changed?"

"He did," Naruto murmurs. "He changed. I can sense it. He… He isn't going to give you what you deserve. You should look elsewhere."

"But _why_?" she demands. "You act like you can read his mind. You act like you know everything that goes through his head. Did he say something to you about me?"

"No," Naruto lies. He knows he can't tell her what Sasuke told him. It would be a betrayal of Sasuke's trust. "No, it isn't that. I just… I know his attention is elsewhere. He has a daughter. He only has eyes for her. He said he doesn't want to look for a girl to marry."

Sakura's heart feels heavy. It drops into her stomach and she stares down into her bowl of ramen, no longer hungry. "I still feel like I need to tell him…" she whispers.

"He knows," Naruto says. "He knows, Sakura. You told him before. You told him when you were young."

"But we're not children anymore," she argues. "Things change. I changed, you changed, he changed… We all changed. I want him to know I still love him and I'd make him happy."

Naruto closes his eyes, feeling sympathetic towards both of his friends. For Sakura, who wants what she can't have… and for Sasuke, who is ashamed of what he wants. He feels like it would be simple and nice if they could be together, but he knows now that it isn't possible. He knows now why Sasuke was hesitant and why girls were never on his mind, even during puberty.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," Naruto says again.

Sakura shakes her head. "Stop," she whispers.

And he does. The two of them are silent. Sakura abandons her half-eaten bowl of ramen without another word, leaving Naruto to eat alone.

His heart is aching. He has always had a bad habit of internalizing everything – especially the pain of others. Now is no different. When Sasuke is hurting, he feels it. When Sakura is hurting, he feels it. Right now, they are both struggling. Naruto feels helpless, wishing there was something more he could do to ease them… but there is nothing.

* * *

The following day is one Naruto spends doing paperwork. He hates this part, but right now he gladly welcomes the distraction.

After a late day in the office, he finishes up. He debates on visiting Sasuke, wondering whether or not he should. In the end, he decides to.

Sasuke welcomes him graciously. He's holding his daughter, rocking her in his arm and cradling her to sleep. Naruto debates on telling Sasuke about his talk with Sakura, but then he decides against it. It seems pointless. Sakura will decide for herself what she will do next and Naruto already knows that she will keep trying. She will need to hear the words from Sasuke himself. The words will hurt her. Naruto would like very much to save her from that pain, but he knows his attempt was in vain. Like Sasuke and like Naruto, Sakura is very stubborn.

They walk into the living room and Naruto sits next to the other man. He's warm. Funny, people always describe him as being so cold. Naruto has always known otherwise. For some reason he can't quite explain, he wants to move closer to Sasuke. It's an intense feeling, one he can't quite place… but it is very simple. It's the simple feeling of wanting to always be with someone.

He stares down at the baby sleeping on Sasuke's lap. She is quiet as she sleeps. Sasuke stares at her with a look Naruto still isn't used to seeing on his face. It's love. Pure love, the kind he isn't afraid to show.

"Who is her mother?" Naruto asks yet again, staring at Sasuke.

Sasuke glances over at Naruto and the question causes him to feel tired and hopeless. He doesn't want Naruto to keep asking, but he knows he'll never give up. He never gives up on anything. That's juts the way he is. So, with a breath, he reveals, "Karin… Karin Uzumaki."

Naruto's lips part in shock. "I… didn't expect that."

Sasuke shrugs his shoulders, sighing to himself. "Me, neither… but it happened."

"And she died?" Naruto asks, quiet as a mouse.

Sasuke nods gravely. "Three months ago."

But, for Sasuke, it was much longer. Still, time has no effect on the most painful memories. No matter what, they still remain painful – especially if one doesn't cope. Sasuke has never coped with anything in his life, so wounds are always fresh.

"What happened?" Naruto whispers the question, wanting to know, but sounding like he's afraid to ask.

Sasuke is quiet for a moment, contemplating where to begin. He closes his eyes briefly. "It was a high crime area and we were stupid for bringing a baby there, but we were tired," he mutters tersely. "Late in the night, we were camping out when we heard some voices. Karin was the first to jump into action. Jugo and Suigetsu followed, leaving me with the baby. I thought that was stupid of them, but Karin always said I was the strongest so she wanted me to stay with Sarada at all times. So, I guess it made more sense than I thought…"

Naruto nods, urging Sasuke to continue his tale.

"Karin was dead in seconds, Jugo and Suigetsu were fighting…" he trails off, finally opening his eyes. "I wasn't about to join them. I took Sarada and I ran. I went back in the morning and they were all dead. It was major overkill and our things were ransacked. Their bodies were completely mutilated… like they did it just for fun. I think they did… I know I'll never find out who did it because this kind of stuff happens all the time and that's just the way life is, but… I want to know. If I did, I'd kill them. I'd do it so slowly…"

Naruto's eyebrows draw together. "I'm so sorry…"

"Me, too," Sasuke whispers. "I wish I could have loved her. She would have loved me. We could have settled down together instead of running around aimlessly. Then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

For Sasuke, it was a moment he considers to have been a weakness. They were staying at a hot spring. Sasuke was eighteen. He was drained emotionally an all he wanted was to be close to someone. Suigetsu and Jugo were bathing. Sasuke was sitting in his room when Karin wandered inside. They talked. Sasuke was tired, so he said things he wouldn't have normally said and Karin offered him comfort – the kind a woman might offer a man she loves. When she kissed him, Sasuke didn't push her away. Instead, he invited her to do more than kiss him. He knew it made her happy and he didn't mind.

They never did it again, but some time later Karin grew ill. They stopped at a clinic and a doctor told her it was the morning sickness. She was going to have a baby – Sasuke's baby. She told him with hesitance and all he did was smile. They continued to travel. Sasuke never left her side.

The memories always replay in his head. He still goes through every tiny detail, wondering what he could have changed so that she would still be alive. It's a feeling of utter hopelessness – one he'll never get rid of. The memories come with images, bloody ones that pervade. He sees Karin covered in blood after giving birth to Sarada and her eyes are full of hope. He sees Karin covered in blood after being killed and her eyes are empty, lifeless.

Naruto reaches for one of Sasuke's hands, holding it in his own. "Don't think about it," he says quietly.

"It's hard not to," Sasuke murmurs.

"Then we can change the subject," Naruto offers.

Sasuke glances at him. "What happened while I was gone?" he asks. "I was gone for nearly two years. I'm sure things have happened in that time. Did you ever have any relationships?"

"Sakura," he says and it surprises Sasuke.

"What?"

It's something Sasuke never knew about them Somehow, it causes further jealousy.

"I was with Sakura," Naruto reiterates, letting go of his friends hand. "The war was over and you were gone…" he trails off, shrugging. "I guess we just decided to try and see what it'd be like. That's when I realized I didn't love her the way I thought I did. She didn't love me, either. She never did, but she wanted to try to. We slept together, but it was… really bad." Naruto chuckles, shrugging. "It felt like I was with my sister, to be honest."

"Have you been with anyone else since then?"

Naruto shakes his head. "Just Sakura… and just that one time." A pause. "What about you? Just Karin?"

Sasuke glances away. "No, there were some others."

"Naturally," Naruto snorts. "With your pretty looks and all, it's probably easy for you."

Sasuke smiles bitterly. "It wasn't really like that. I mean, it wasn't easy…"

Naruto frowns, feeling unsettled by the look on Sasuke's face. "What do you mean?"

"Well, what do you think I was doing while in Orochimaru's care?" Sasuke asks coolly, not expecting an answer. "He wasn't training me out of the goodness of his heart. He wanted things in return. So, for power, I agreed to a lot of things I'd never dream of doing now."

"But you were so young…" Naruto comments solemnly, feeling overcome with pity and sadness.

"Yeah," Sasuke scoffs. "It was four years of hell."

"I'm so sorry," Naruto whispers.

"Even after," Sasuke continues in a murmur. "I mean, he's alive now and we all know he's alive. I'd see him around sometimes and that's what he always wanted in exchange for his help. So, I'd give in. I always gave in."

"I'm sorry," Naruto whispers again.

Sasuke shrugs his shoulders carelessly. "It's over… but it feels good to tell another person. For the longest time, only Karin knew. She was the smartest. She just kind of put it together after analyzing certain behaviour traits of mine. Plus, he always locked the door when I was with him. I think she kind of wanted to save me… and in a way, maybe she did when she got pregnant. I started to value my life more because I wasn't just responsible for me. I was responsible for her and the life she was carrying… My child."

Naruto smiles sadly. "She was part of my clan, but I never got to know her. What was she like?"

"Loud," Sasuke says with a short laugh. "Kind of a sadist and a bit of a masochist at the same time. I don't really know why I had sex with her. I suppose it's just because she wanted to and I felt like I owed her. Plus, I didn't mind. It's not like I was doing something I didn't want to do… and we were adults by then. I did care about her. She was the first person I _chose_ to sleep with."

Naruto wants to ask him who else he would choose to sleep with, but he doesn't. The question would be invasive and he isn't sure if it would be appropriate to ask. He also isn't sure why he even wants to ask it.

"I wish I could have known her," Naruto says softly.

Sasuke nods his head. "She was an intense person. She would have left an impression. She left an impression on everyone she met." He pauses. "She was like you in that way."

Naruto smiles a small smile.

"So, why are you here so late?" Sasuke asks. "It's after dark."

"I did paperwork for most of the day," Naruto says. "I suppose I just didn't want to return home and be alone. I wanted company."

"Well, you are always welcome here."

They fall into a silence, but it is comfortable. Sasuke is still staring at Sarada. She brings out another side to him – a kinder and more knowing side.

"Sasuke… if you could be with anyone, is there someone you would choose?" he asks offhandedly.

Sasuke frowns at the question. "Why?"

"Because I want to know," Naruto says. "If you love someone, I want to know who it is."

"Love is a strong word," Sasuke murmurs.

"Yes, but sometimes it is accurate," Naruto argues. "What you feel for your daughter – that is love. I'm sure you'll feel it for a man someday, won't you? But maybe you already do."

Sasuke closes his eyes. "You're bringing up a lot of tough topics tonight."

"I'm sorry," Naruto apologizes. "I guess I'm just trying to figure you out."

But it isn't just that. If Naruto were to be honest right now, he is also trying to figure himself out. Sasuke's confession opened a window, causing Naruto to think about things he wouldn't typically think about.

"But you have me figured out. You always have. Knowing these things doesn't change what you already know about me."

"I suppose," he relents, deciding to drop the topic for now. It's a subject for another day.

After a little while, Sasuke stands up to put Sarada in her crib. When he returns, he sits back down with Naruto.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Naruto asks.

The question surprises Sasuke, but he doesn't allow it to show. "Of course."

Naruto nods his head. "Thanks."

Sasuke stares at his friend critically, trying to figure out where the question even came from. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Naruto says. "I'm okay. I just…" he trails off and then laughs. "It sounds stupid, but I feel lonely. I shouldn't, though, right? I'm the Hokage."

"Just because you're the Hokage it doesn't mean you don't have feelings," Sasuke assures. "You're still human and to feel lonely is a very human thing. No one likes being alone."

"Yeah," Naruto whispers. "I live alone… you live alone… So, I thought I'd come see you tonight."

"I'm glad you did," Sasuke says.

"I'm constantly surrounded by people," Naruto murmurs, "and most of them are my friends or people who have respect for me. I shouldn't feel this way."

"Sometimes a person can be in a room full of people and still be completely alone," Sasuke says. "It's a different kind of loneliness. It's a feeling, yes, but it doesn't make it any less real."

Naruto nods his head, agreeing. "You get it, right?"

"Of course. I think everyone is a little bit lonely."

Naruto nods his head again and then yawns.

"Tired?" Sasuke asks.

"Often," Naruto responds with a little laugh.

"Do you want my bed?" Sasuke offers. "There are other rooms, but they are in shambles at the moment…"

"Don't be dumb, we'll share," Naruto says.

"All right," Sasuke agrees, nodding for Naruto to follow him.

On quiet feet, they move down the hall and into Sasuke's room. Sarada is asleep, so they are careful not to make too much noise. Naruto removes his sweater and sits on the edge of Sasuke's bed.

Sasuke pulls the covers back on his side, slipping underneath them. "Make yourself comfortable," he says to Naruto.

Naruto is hesitant. He keeps asking himself what he's doing and why. The act itself is so innocent. Of course he has shared a sleeping space with Sasuke many times in the past on countless missions… but something about this seems different. It seems different because they aren't children. It seems different for reasons he can't explain.

Finally, Naruto moves into bed. Their shoulders touch as they lie side by side and there it is again – that intense feeling, the warmth, the closeness… Part of Naruto wants to pull the other man into him and hold him close, but he doesn't do that. Instead, he lies still with eyes wide open as he stares into the vast dimness of the room. His chest feels tight. He feels like he's doing something wrong. He feels like Sakura would be angry with him. He feels like his attempts to dissuade her from talking to Sasuke were less for her wellbeing and more for his own. He doesn't want Sasuke to be with Sakura and he is finally realizing it. Perhaps he only pushed the idea because he thought it would be so normal, so expected.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke asks again, sensing that something is off.

This time, Naruto whispers, "I don't know."

Sasuke sits up, staring down at Naruto. Naruto stares at him in return, making out the faint shape of him in the dimly lit room. Suddenly, he's overwhelmed by an onslaught of sudden thoughts and feelings he can barely make sense of. A lump forms in his throat. He doesn't understand.

"Naruto –"

Before he can get another word out, he's cut off by the sound of a sharp and sudden laugh. Then a sob. Unsure of what to say, Sasuke lies back down. He slides an arm under Naruto's back, pulling him close. Naruto rests his head on the other man's shoulders, emitting poorly stifled soft sobs. He tries to keep quiet. He doesn't want to wake the baby, but he feels like he's suffocating. His body wracks, trembling. Sasuke holds him tighter, feeling wholeheartedly unsure.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **5:**

Naruto slips out of Sasuke's bed before he wakes up and then he's gone without a trace. He makes his way back home, feeling humiliated over last night's events. He can't explain why he cried or how he felt.

When he arrives, he gets undressed and showers before putting on a fresh change of clothes. He makes himself something to eat and then he heads to his office. His sleep schedule is off lately, but he is trying not to let it best him.

He tries to focus, but it grows difficult as the memories of last night continue swirling through his mind. They won't go away. He wants to talk to someone about this, but he isn't sure who to go to. He would usually go to Sakura, but he knows this would upset her. So, instead, he chooses Kakashi – his former mentor.

He heads to his apartment, knocking on his door.

"Open up, I know you're not asleep!" he shouts, getting impatient.

A few moments later, the door swings open and Kakashi is standing there, mask-less. The mystery grew as Naruto got older when Kakashi finally showed Naruto and Sakura his face they were almost disappointed to see that he wasn't hiding anything. He is an attractive man. Of course, this was common knowledge for anyone who has seen his face. He has a mole near his chin and he has handsome, sturdy features.

Now it is a common occurrence for Naruto to see Kakashi without his mask, though he still prefers to wear it when he's out in the public eye.

"What is it?" Kakashi asks.

"I have a problem," Naruto starts, pushing past his former teacher and letting himself on.

Kakashi closes the door behind him and walks with Naruto to the kitchen. He puts on tea and then they sit at the table.

"What is the problem?" Kakashi asks.

Naruto watches the steam rise up from his cup of tea and for a moment he is silent, unsure how to explain how he feels. "It will sound strange," he says.

"You say a lot of strange things," Kakashi jokes around, "I'm sure I'm more than prepared to hear it."

Naruto wrinkles his nose. "This is different."

"How so?" Kakashi asks.

"Because it is…"

"Well, tell me and then we'll deal with it."

Naruto lets out a breath he's been holding and then he says, "I spent last night at Sasuke's house and I realized that I don't want him to date Sakura. I told Sakura that she should forget about him, but she doesn't want to. She wants to see if she can convince him of her love. I told her that he doesn't doubt her feelings, but he isn't looking for a woman. I told her that he only has eyes for his daughter." He is careful to leave out any details Sasuke wouldn't want Naruto to share. When he is finished speaking, Kakashi looks mildly humoured. It causes a crease in Naruto's brow. "What is so funny?" he asks, offended that his former teacher doesn't seem to be taking his plight seriously.

"It's love, Naruto," Kakashi responds.

Naruto is taken aback. "Love?"

"Yes, love."

"Well, yeah, I know I love Sasuke. I love loads of people, but I've never felt anything like that before."

Kakashi is smiling. "Perhaps that is because this is a different kind of love."

"What kind?" Naruto whispers the question, almost afraid to find out.

"I think you know what kind."

Naruto closes his eyes. "Why now?" he groans out the words.

"You were away from him for a long time," Kakashi notes. "Things change. People change. Feelings change. When you were young, you probably never thought about it. Now you're older. You're a man now. So is Sasuke. Perhaps that is another reason why this is difficult for you."

Naruto frowns at that.

"Between us both, I don't think your feelings are unrequited," Kakashi adds. "Before his daughter, he only had eyes for you. That much was obvious."

"Really?" Naruto murmurs.

"Really," Kakashi insists. "You both were obsessed with one another."

But it causes Naruto to feel anxiety nonetheless.

* * *

Sasuke wakes up alone to the sound of Sarada crying. He isn't surprised to see that Naruto is gone. For now, Sasuke tries not to think about it. He gets out of bed and moves towards Sarada's crib, picking her up and taking her into the kitchen to heat up a bottle of milk. Sarada quiets when she's no longer hungry and Sasuke takes her out for a walk. He avoids the town and makes circles through the forest. He remembers how hard he used to train amongst the trees when he was young. He remembers how all that mattered to him was gaining his father's approval, making him proud, feeling worthy of the family name.

Their name used to mean so much. Now it just feels cursed. It's like a poison in the ninja world.

Times were so simple when he was a child - before he lost his parents. He almost wishes he could have gone back that far, just for a little while. Some days he feels like he would give anything to meet his parents again.

In his past life, he felt like everyone left him. At first, he didn't mean for it… but eventually it became second nature for him to drive people away. He's determined not to repeat that mistake.

He sees a group of familiar young ninja in training practicing throwing shuriken at trees. It makes him feel nostalgic.

"Hello, Sensei!" they greet.

Sasuke nods his head at his students. "This is where I used to practise when I was your age," he shares.

His students seem fond of him and he finds it reassuring. They ask him about his daughter, about other places he trained and then they ask him for tips on technique. He gives them all the answers he can, but soon Sarada grows fussy. He bids his students a, "See you all in class," and then he heads back home.

He feels somewhat better, but Naruto keeps crossing his mind.

* * *

Naruto spends yet another day in the office, sending ninja teams on various missions and then doing paperwork. It's repetitive, but he doesn't mind it. He'd much rather this than worrying about wars. The wars are over and all he can do is hope there won't be any more from here on. It's an unrealistic wish, he knows that, but he still hopes for it.

If he were to ask Sasuke, he knows Sasuke would insist that chaos is the natural state of humanity. Perhaps there is a little bit of truth to the statement.

Later in the evening, Sasuke shows up with Sarada.

"Naruto."

"Sasuke," Naruto returns.

"Why did you leave?" Sasuke asks, stepping into the room.

"I… didn't really have a reason to stay," Naruto murmurs, not looking up from his work.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry about last night," he adds. "It wasn't… professional."

Sasuke scoffs at that. "If I'm your best friend, I'm the last person you need to worry about being professional around. Right?"

"I have a reputation to uphold," Naruto murmurs.

"So?" Sasuke asks carelessly. "That doesn't matter around me. You're still human and humans have emotions."

"But as ninja we're supposed to have these things under control," Naruto points out.

"You sound like me now," Sasuke notes.

Naruto wrinkles his nose, realizing that the other man is right. It's one thing he never admired about Sasuke – his cold persona. He understood it, of course, but he didn't like it. He always wished for Sasuke to be more open… and now he is.

"Sorry," Naruto apologizes again.

"It's fine," Sasuke says. "I didn't know what to do last night. Why were you upset?"

"I realized something and I don't know what to do with the realization," Naruto says vaguely.

Sasuke isn't sure what he means by that. "What did you realize?"

Naruto shakes his head. "Let's not talk about it. Talk about something else instead."

"Like what?"

"Anything. I like listening to you talk," Naruto confesses. "Your voice is soothing and deep. It sounds so different than mine."

Sasuke smiles slightly at that, finally taking a seat on the sofa in the room. "I like your voice, too."

"Really?" Naruto chuckles. "My voice is loud, hoarse, scratchy… and I scream too much. I've been screaming most of my life. Half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it."

"That's probably why your voice is so hoarse," Sasuke says.

"Probably," Naruto agrees.

"I'd call it gravelly, though," Sasuke continues, "and I like that about it."

Naruto smiles faintly. "So, come on, tell me something."

"What kind of something?"

"Something about yourself. Tell me something I don't know."

It sounds like a challenge to Sasuke, but he decides that he will try for Naruto's sake. So, he starts with, "I never hated you, you know. I know at times I seemed like I did, but I didn't. I saw you and we had so much in common. I knew that, but I didn't really know how to connect with you. So, I made you my rival because it seemed easier than sitting down and talking with you. I found you annoying, loud, abrasive. Even though we had so much in common, it also seemed like we were both polar opposites. We just dealt with our misfortunates differently. I used to be… light. I was happy. Then my brother ruined that. He did what he was told to do and suddenly everyone I loved was dead and I had to watch it over and over and over again. It changed me. Death always changes people. Being lonely changes people. I no longer knew how to connect with people. You were the opposite. You knew how to connect. You wanted it desperately, but people rejected you. You had to prove yourself. I never had to do any of that. People loved me, even though I never gave them a reason to. Then I followed in my brother's footsteps. I betrayed the village. Everyone hated me. You were the one they all started to love. You deserved all that love. You worked hard to prove yourself to people who never respected you."

Naruto listens to him talk, enamoured. "You deserved love, too," he says softly. "It was taken away from you and that's why you turned your back on everyone."

"In a way, yes," Sasuke agrees quietly. "It's funny. At first, there were missions to try and rescue me. Then everyone gave up. The mission was no longer to rescue me. The mission was to kill me. Sakura tried. That surprised me. I would have killed her if I wasn't stopped. I didn't care anymore. At that point, I was so overwhelmed with hatred towards everything to do with Konoha. I suppose that I just… I want to thank you for being the one person who never gave up on me."

Naruto smiles faintly. "You're welcome. I always understood you. We connected. I think it was automatic. Neither of us really realized it was happening. I liked you so much because you were the first person who didn't hate me. Sure, you might not have particularly liked me in the beginning… but it had nothing to do with the nine tailed fox." A pause. "You know, you are a lot more open now. I like it."

"I'm trying," Sasuke says, smiling in return.

"I can tell." Naruto pauses and then suddenly asks, "Who are you in love with?"

"No one," Sasuke responds

"Liar," Naruto whispers.

Sasuke closes his eyes. He can feel his heart beating so loudly he can nearly hear it. He wonders if Naruto can, too. He feels like Naruto has given him an opening – a chance to say what has been on his mind since he was a little child, a chance to be honest with himself and with Naruto. Either way, he knows this honesty will come with a price. He just doesn't know what the price will be or how high.

"I won't be upset," Naruto says when the silence lingers for too long. "Even if it's someone weird or old."

"But… what if it's not someone weird or old?" Sasuke starts, opening his eyes but refusing to make contact with Naruto. "What if it's you?"

Silence.

Complete silence.

Sasuke wants Naruto to say something, but he's quiet again.

"Oh," he finally says, voice cracking. "Um… Why me?"

"For a lot of reasons," Sasuke answers simply.

Naruto nods, urging for Sasuke to continue.

"Well…" he murmurs, "you never gave up on me and everyone else did. Even Sakura. I mean, she tried to kill me. I don't hold it against her, but still… You were always different. We fought many times, but I couldn't ever kill you because I loved you and I thought it made me weak, having something like love tying me down… and I kept thinking about how you would see it. I knew you'd see something like love as a strength. Anyway, I guess I've loved you long before any of that even happened. I've loved you since we were little. You're right, we connected. I just didn't know how to express that feeling."

Naruto softens, nodding along to what Sasuke is saying. "We've always had a special bond. Not just because of our histories, though. It goes deeper."

"Yeah," Sasuke whispers.

"Well… we can… um," Naruto trails off, pausing. "I'll do anything for you, so we can… try?"

Sasuke lets out a breath. "I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, Naruto. I don't want any pity offers."

"I'm not uncomfortable with it and it's not a piteous offer," Naruto insists gently. "I really love you, y'know… and maybe this will help me figure out what kind of love it is. I guess I just never questioned it before... but lately, I have been."

Sasuke feels his heart begin to beat even faster.

"Um… let's not tell anyone at first," Naruto says.

"All right," Sasuke agrees. "That's probably for the best. I don't want people thinking anything bad about me. They already probably think enough bad things about me. They might just think this is some sort of ploy of mine… and it's not." He pauses, staring at Naruto. "You know it's not, right?"

Naruto smiles a small smile. "I know that, you don't have to tell me. I feel like, even though we've been apart for so long, I can still read you like a book."

It won't be easy. Both of the men know it will be _far_ from easy.

"I got upset last night because I recognized that my feelings for you run deeper than I thought they did," Naruto decides to add. "It was overwhelming."

"Oh," Sasuke says softly. "Do you not want to feel that way about me?"

"No, it's not that…" Naruto insists. "It just… it changes things, doesn't it? Change can be scary, especially when it comes to relationships and people."

"Yeah," Sasuke agrees.

Soon, Sarada wakes up and grows fussy.

"Guess that means you need to leave," Naruto says with a little laugh.

"Yeah," Sasuke agrees.

"I'll drop by when I am done here," Naruto promises.

Sasuke nods and then takes his leave.

* * *

Against his will, Sasuke grows anxious. He should be happier, but none of it feels quite real. Part of him thinks he will wake up and be back in his previous life – waking up in a hospital because his suicide attempt didn't work. That would be far more logical than this.

"I don't deserve this," he whispers to himself. "I don't deserve a second chance."

But perhaps it isn't about what he deserves – perhaps it is about what everyone else deserves. Sasuke isn't just trying to make himself happy. He's trying to ensure everyone else's happiness as well. It is something he tried to do in the past, but he ended up making too many mistakes and the opposite happened. He caused a lot of heartbreak. At least now he has some hindsight.

Sasuke puts Sarada to bed after feeding her again and then he paces throughout his house, feeling aimless.

True to his word, Naruto shows up long after dark. Sasuke welcomes him in, unsure where things will go from here.

"It feels strange, doesn't it?" Naruto asks, almost reading the other man's mind.

"Yeah," he agrees.

"Is it bad that I feel scared?"

"I think it's normal," Sasuke says. "Change is scary. Relationships are scary."

"I just… need time," Naruto explains, "but I know I want to make you happy."

Sasuke lets out a bitter laugh. "I don't feel like I deserve it… I feel like I don't deserve _you_."

"Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, Sasuke," Naruto says.

"What if I had my chance and I blew it?"

Naruto smiles. "Then you deserve a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes, Sasuke. It's natural. We just need to be sure to learn from these mistakes."

Sasuke nods his head faintly.

Naruto nears him and puts his hands on his shoulders. "So, can I try something?"

Sasuke nods and then Naruto leans forward. Sasuke lets it happen and when their mouths touch, his lips part. It's not their first kiss. It's not their second kiss, either… but this kiss is much better because it isn't a mistake. They both know what they're doing and they both want it.

"For a long time I wondered if you would hate me if I told you how I felt," Sasuke whispers when they part.

"I'd never hate you," Naruto tells him.

"Yeah… I know that now."

Naruto smiles again. He's always smiling.

In Sasuke's past life, Naruto's smiles grew fewer and farther between as the time went on. Sasuke always wondered if he had something to do with it or if it was just life.

"Want to stay over again tonight?" Sasuke offers.

"Yeah," Naruto says.

It's the closeness he is craving. He wants to be close to Sasuke. To kiss him felt right. It makes him feel less hesitant at what it is they are starting. He takes Sasuke's hand and they move into the bedroom. The curtains are open, spilling dim moonlight into the room.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Naruto asks as they pour themselves into bed. "You are quiet."

"I'm okay," Sasuke promises. "More than."

"Really?"

"It just… doesn't feel real," Sasuke whispers. "I feel like I can't get too happy because if I do then the illusion will break and I'll wake up. I've wanted this for so long…"

This time, Naruto is the one to hold Sasuke. "It's real. I promise."

Sasuke closes his eyes, pressing his ear against Naruto's chest and listening to his heartbeats.

"I was happy when you said it was me," Naruto whispers into the dark room.

"Were you?" Sasuke asks.

"Yeah. I was."

A lot can change in one night. Even more can change in one day.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **6:**

Sakura decides to go against what Naruto advised. So, she heads to the Uchiha compound to find Sasuke. Her heart races as she reaches his doorstep, knocking.

Sasuke opens the door a moment later. "Sakura," he says. "What are you doing here?"

"I came… to talk," she starts.

Sasuke is frowning. He looks cold, aloof, stoic. He looks the way he always looks. Sakura can't help but find it discouraging. Nonetheless, she steps inside when he allows her to and they walk into the living area.

"Where's your daughter?" Sakura asks.

"Asleep," he says.

"Why doesn't she have a mother?"

"Her mother died," Sasuke says vaguely, not wanting to revisit it again.

"I'm sorry," Sakura murmurs.

Sasuke dismisses it. "What did you come here to talk about?"

She is nervous. Sasuke can sense it and he knows exactly where the conversation is going to lead. Sakura is going to tell him how she feels and he is going to tell her how he feels.

They stand still in the living area and Sasuke waits. He doesn't rush her. He knows it is difficult to get certain words out. He will have to let her down again. This time, he'll try to do so gently. In the past, he didn't care about being gentle. He hurt her so many times. He doesn't want to do that again, though it seems inevitable. Either way, no matter what he says, he will hurt her tonight.

"I… I love you," Sakura whispers. "I'm in love with you. I always have been. I know you think my attraction to you is shallow, but it's not. It's genuine."

"I've never been good or kind to you," Sasuke murmurs. "Why do you love me?"

"People can't help the way they feel," she continues softly. "I've always been drawn to you."

Sasuke is silent. He stares at her. Sakura feels small under his gaze. She feels like it would be simpler if she did stop loving him, but right now she can't. She still feels deeply for him.

The silence lingers. Sakura perches herself up on her toes and kisses the man in front of her.

Sasuke closes his eyes for a moment and lets it happen. It's distantly familiar to kiss her, but it isn't what he wants. He opens his eyes a split second later and pulls away, turning his head to the side. "I felt nothing," he whispers.

She lets out a sharp sigh, looking distraught. "Nothing?"

"I'm sorry," Sasuke says. "I don't intend to hurt you. I never intended to hurt you and I know that I have many times. Perhaps it would be simpler if I could love you and we could be happy, but I can't love you. Because of that, we can't be together. It wouldn't be fair. You deserve someone who will be able to love you back and that someone isn't me."

Sakura swipes at her eyes. "Why?"

He doesn't respond. He can't.

"You're just like Naruto," she whispers accusingly.

"How?" Sasuke wonders.

"We tried to be together," she admits with a sigh. "He must have told you that, right? He tells you things."

"Yes, he told me."

"We were wrong together," she murmurs, "but I also realized something about him that made it all even more fucking impossible."

"What?" Sasuke pries.

"Naruto is like the sun," Sakura says. "Anyone who gets close enough to him will burn."

And maybe that's why Hinata never smiled.

* * *

Sakura didn't linger after that and Sasuke still feels sore for hurting her… but it had to be done. If he had accepted her love, then things would have broken.

He opens the doors to his home, sitting on the wooden steps. The wind blows against his skin. It's a warm evening. Sasuke closes his eyes, remaining thoughtful.

Sometime later, he hears footsteps approaching. Then Naruto appears in front of him.

Sasuke smiles faintly. "I talked with Sakura. She didn't like what I had to say. She thinks I'm like you. She says you're like the sun and anyone who gets close to you will burn."

Naruto doesn't say anything at first. He sits down on the steps with Sasuke and then leans into him. They kiss like they are trying to separate salt from water.

"If I'm the sun then you're the moon," he then responds. "Maybe that means we're not supposed to be together."

"Or maybe it means the opposite," the other man muses. "Either way, I don't care."

"Me, neither."

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **7:**

Sakura tries to talk to Sasuke again, wanting to try and reason with him one last time or perhaps simply tell him that it is all right. If she can't have his love, then she'd at least like to have his friendship. As she moves through the forest area, she soon approaches the Uchiha compound. She stops, however, when she sees him with Naruto. They are hovering in the doorway. She nearly gasps allowed when she spots Naruto with his mouth fastened to Sasuke's. The corners of her eyes begin to sting and then she unwillingly welcomes the tears. They come hard and fast. They are persistent tears. Her face heats up and she feels betrayal. The feeling grows worse as she sees Naruto's hand slip past the rim of Sasuke's pants, touching and teasing his most sensitive spot.

Sakura can't bear it any longer. She tears herself away from the scene and then she's gone.

* * *

"Wait… Did you hear something?" Sasuke asks Naruto.

"No, I was distracted," Naruto responds.

Sasuke chuckles at that. "Let's take this inside."

So, in mutually silent consent, they retreat to the living area since Sarada is asleep.

Sasuke removes his pants slowly before slipping out of his shorts and shirt. Naruto wants to tell him to hurry up and get the show on the road, but he doesn't. Instead, he watches and he admires. He hasn't seen Sasuke naked since they were young and he's certainly grown since then. He is fair skinned, firm and smooth. He's not particularly hairy apart from a slight trail below his navel.

"Turn around," Naruto request once Sasuke is bare.

Sasuke humours him and then asks, "What do you think?"

"You're perfect."

They take their time with one another – undressing, kissing, and touching parts of one another they never thought they'd get to touch.

Naruto lies down on a futon and Sasuke sits on his lap, staring down. They go slow, watching one another, reacting to new sensations.

Sasuke lets his mouth fall open as his eyelids slip shut. He straddles the other man's hips, grinding against him and moving his rear. Naruto can tell he has done this many times, but he doesn't comment on it or let the thought linger. He knows that those memories are difficult for Sasuke to talk about because they aren't good memories.

Naruto stares up, watching as Sasuke's hair sways back and forth as he moves. He makes it look like art and feel like magic.

For Naruto, this is different than his past experience with Sakura. It's different because Sasuke is a man and it's different because they're in love. It always feels different when there's love.

* * *

"I'm happy," Sasuke says later in the night. "I didn't think that was possible."

By now, the two men have relocated to the bedroom.

"So am I."

"But will it always be a secret?"

"I don't know," Naruto admits.

"I don't want it to be."

"Me, neither…"

Naruto fell and he fell hard – hard for the man lying in front of him.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **8:**

The day is quiet. Autonomous. Sasuke teaches and Naruto does paperwork.

"Send me somewhere," Sakura whispers when she finds him in his office. "Please."

"Why?" Naruto asks, raising an eyebrow. "You just got back from a long one. Don't you want time in between?"

"No," she says. "Send me on a mission."

Naruto eyes her critically, trying to figure out what to make of her sudden demands. "Is this because of Sasuke?" he asks.

"No," she bites out. "It's because of _you_ and Sasuke."

Naruto closes his eyes and sighs. "You saw…"

"Yes, I saw," she says tersely. "How could you do that? How long has this been going on behind my back? Why didn't you TELL me? We're friends, Naruto. You should have told me!"

"I didn't tell you _because_ we're friends," Naruto explains calmly. "I knew it would hurt you. I knew you wouldn't understand it. I knew you wouldn't like it. I can't explain it. It just… happened."

"Why!" she shouts in a shrill voice, demanding answers. She feels like she's suffocating and the tears won't stop.

"I'm in love with him," Naruto whispers, feeling guilty about it. "I'm sorry."

Sakura shakes her head, letting out a breath to try and calm herself. "You're right. I don't understand it. I don't like it. I don't care that you're both men, I just wish you would have fallen for some other man."

"It wouldn't have happened," Naruto says. "It had to be him. You can hate me all you want, it won't change anything."

"I don't hate you," Sakura murmurs. "I'm just angry. I'm angry at you, at him… and at myself because I should have seen this coming."

"Love makes us blind. It makes us selfish."

"I'll forgive you for it if you promise me something," Sakura starts.

Naruto stares at her for a moment. "Anything…"

"Don't keep it a secret," she says. "Tell people. Tell everyone. Hold his hand. Kiss him. Tell him you love him. Declare it. Make it known."

"Why?" Naruto whispers.

"Because he deserves to _feel_ loved. He deserves to know you're proud of him and unashamed."

Naruto closes his eyes and nods, vowing to do so no matter how hard it may be.

With that, Sakura is satisfied. "Send me in a mission," she requests yet again.

This time, Naruto relents. He grabs a pile of files, searching through until he finds a low-risk escorting mission. "Here," he says. "Take Hinata with you."

Sakura nods her head and then she's gone.

* * *

When the day is over, the two men meet. By now, it is dark. Only the street lamps are lit. Naruto walks to the old Uchiha compound and makes his way to the home of Sasuke. It's something he does most nights because no one wants to be alone when the lights go out.

"Hey," Sasuke greets him.

"Hey," Naruto echoes.

They smile and then Naruto steps in. He leans into Sasuke and they touch mouths, eyes slipping shut. His lips are smooth, gentle.

"I'm in love with you," Naruto says as they part. "I'm sure of it now."

Sasuke watches him, listening as he talks. His chest feels fluttery, light. He still feels like it is all too good to be true, too good to be real… but it is true. It is real. This is his life now. He has what he wanted. He has _who_ he wanted.

"I can pinpoint the exact moment when I became aware of my feelings for you," Naruto says. "It was a little while after you told me you weren't attracted to women. I went to your place. I told you I felt lonely. We shared a bed. I remember the way our shoulders kept touching that night. I kept thinking how warm you felt and I wanted to be close to you. It gave me this intense feeling in my chest. I think I knew what was happening, but I didn't want to admit it. Love is a scary thing and it's even scarier when it's so new."

"You cried that night," Sasuke recalls softly, "and I just… held you."

"I was overwhelmed," Naruto admits. "I never felt anything like it before. I don't know why I never noticed it sooner. I think it's because of your confession. It made me start thinking about myself. It made me notice new things."

Sasuke smiles faintly. "Yeah…"

This time, he did it. He got what he wanted – _who_ he wanted. Two lives later and he's where he always dreamt of being – loved by the person he loves.

However, he still can't help but wonder. Would things have turned out the first time if only he had been honest? He could have saved himself so much pain. At least this time he saved everyone else from getting hurt.

"If it wasn't for me, then you would have married a nice girl," Sasuke whispers. "You would have had children with her – a son and then a daughter. You would love them."

"How do you know all that?" Naruto asks.

"I just do," Sasuke says softly.

"You always act like you know things you couldn't possibly know," Naruto points out, wondering why.

"Would you believe me if I told you I've lived a life before this one?" Sasuke asks, peering at the other man.

"I would humour you," Naruto responds with a little smile. "Tell me more about your other life."

"It wasn't the life I wanted," Sasuke starts vaguely. "So, I jumped in hopes that I would find some sort of peace. Instead, I ended up here."

Naruto looks empathetic and compassionate, like he's trying to understand but the larger part of him still doesn't quite believe. "What could have been so bad?"

"I was alone," Sasuke says with a bitter laugh. "Completely. I isolated myself because I thought it would be for the best. I thought I would be able to stop hurting people I cared about… but I couldn't."

"What happened?" Naruto whispers.

"I watched you fall in love with someone who wasn't me," Sasuke murmurs. "You got married to her. You had children. So, I decided to follow. I married a girl and she raised my daughter. I was always out on the missions you sent me on. You once told me you knew I didn't want to be home. I never denied it. I spent most of my life away. I didn't watch my daughter grow up. I didn't have a good relationship with my wife. I settled and because is settled I ended up hurting people. Everyone got angry with me. I kept repeating mistakes. Sakura hated me. My daughter hated me. You hated me. It was too much. I had nothing left. When I finally realized that, it was too late."

Naruto is frowning by now. The story causes him to feel unsettled. He wants to believe Sasuke, but a part of him still can't quite grasp it.

"You don't believe me," Sasuke says. "You must think I sound insane."

"You do," Naruto replies with a faint smile, "but that doesn't mean it didn't happen, right?"

"Yeah," Sasuke whispers.

"Maybe I loved you in that world, too," he says. "Did you ever consider it?"

"Yes," Sasuke murmurs, "but it just felt like wishful thinking."

"Do you think you can love someone without really realizing it?" Naruto wonders.

"I don't know."

"If it's possible, then maybe I loved you for much longer," Naruto says, adding his own opinion. "Maybe that night we shared a bed was just me finally realizing it."

Sasuke smiles faintly. "Yeah…"

"If I love you here, then I am sure I loved you there, too," Naruto continues surely. "Maybe this is the universe's way of righting something that went horribly wrong. Maybe that's why you got a second chance."

"Yeah, I've considered it," Sasuke confesses.

He knows Naruto is likely only humouring him, but he doesn't blame Naruto for being doubtful. The story itself is a little bit too fantastic. If Sasuke didn't experience it himself, then there is no way he would believe it to be true. Nonetheless, he appreciates Naruto taking the time to talk about it with him. He appreciates Naruto's thoughts.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **9:**

When Naruto finally does make their relationship known, it's morning. It's sunny and bright and the town is bustling. He walks by Sasuke's side, waving at everyone who glances his way.

He is dressed in his Hokage robes and hat as he walks Sasuke to work. Before they reach the building, he stops walking. Sasuke pauses a moment later, turning around. "What is it?"

"Can I kiss you?" Naruto asks.

"Here? Now?"

"Yes, here and now."

Sasuke pauses, glancing around at all the people and then glancing back at Naruto. "There are a lot of people around. You don't mind?"

"I want them to know," Naruto says, putting his hands on the other man's shoulders. "I want them to know you're mine."

"And you're mine," Sasuke finishes. From the corner of his eye, he can see lingering gazes from the townsfolk. They are curious gazes. Of course, everyone knows how much Sasuke means to their Hokage and of course everyone knows how far he went to save the once volatile man… but they don't know how deep it runs.

"Are you ready to let people know?" Naruto asks.

"More than."

With that, Naruto moves his hands away from Sasuke's shoulders, instead cupping his face. Then he leans forward, placing an open-mouthed kiss on the other man's lips. They linger, doing it once more before finally parting.

"No more secrets," Naruto says.

"No more secrets," Sasuke echoes.

* * *

Later in the day, Naruto sits in his office. There's a knock on the door and Tsunade walks in with Kakashi.

"Hey, brat," she greets. "I hear you got a thing with the Uchiha kid."

"Don't pretend to be surprised," Kakashi says to her.

She chuckles at that. "It was about damn time."

Kakashi can't help but agree and Naruto simply smiles.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **10:**

Sasuke tries not to worry about the future or dwell on the past. Instead, he tries solely to concentrate on the present and trust that everything will work out. He tries to have the kind of faith Naruto has.

So, Sasuke lets himself relax for once in his life. He will teach his students. He will raise his daughter. He will continue to live and love and whatever else.

* * *

When Sakura returns with Hinata from her mission it is early in the evening. In the streets, she sees Naruto and Sasuke walking. They're holding hands.

"Sasuke and Naruto?" Hinata questions.

"Yeah, I guess so," Sakura responds. She forces a smile before approaching the two men. "I'm back from my mission," she says, sidling up next to the Hokage.

"Welcome back," Naruto says. "Everything went well, I assume?"

"Of course," she insists. "Me and Hinata will write up the mission report later on and it'll be on your desk by tomorrow."

Naruto nods his head and Sakura doesn't hover after that. She bids the two men a _see you_ and then heads off.

"Think things will be okay?" Sasuke asks and Naruto doesn't need to wonder who he is referring to. He means Sakura. He means Naruto. He means himself. He means their friendships with one another. He means their future.

"Yes," Naruto says surely. "It has to be."

It is the first day of the rest of their lives – and what a good life it is going to be.

.

.

.

 **Epilogue.**

Sasuke is thirty-nine years old and he's no longer tired. In fact, he's still invigorated. This is how things were supposed to turn out. Sasuke fucked up a lot in his life, but he managed to get it right this time. He's no longer alone.

Right now, he is once again standing on the remains of Madara's statue at the Valley of the End. This time, however, he is not contemplating ending his life. He is simply reflecting on everything that happens. This is where he often comes to think. Naruto always finds him and they walk home together.

"You always come here," he says when he inevitably appears.

"It's a place that holds a lot of memories," Sasuke responds.

"Good or bad?"

"Both. You know that."

Everyone is okay – just like Naruto said all those years ago. Team seven's relationship remains strong, even with all of the tests thrown their way. Sasuke and Naruto got married. Sakura, on the other hand, married Lee. They had a son. Sasuke often wonders if she's truly happy. She seems to be, but it can be difficult to know what some people are thinking.

Hinata has moved on as well and she did it with Kiba. Things seemed to have worked out this time.

Sasuke remembers all of these milestones. He remembers countless weddings. He remembers watching his daughter grow up. He remembers raising her. He remembers being a loving husband, a loving father. Sarada is a woman now. She's a proud ninja. Sasuke was hesitant to let her out into the world alone, but he knew he couldn't protect her forever. He raised her to be strong. He raised her to be independent. He raised her with love and support.

They walk home together. "Sarada returned from her mission," Naruto adds.

Sasuke nods his head. It was a B-rank mission. He knows that Naruto hesitates when it comes to sending her on dangerous missions, but she always calls him out on it and kindly reminds them both that she is no longer a child. She is twenty years old. Sasuke and Naruto often tend to forget it. Time moves fast when one is happy. Sasuke has learned that.

When they arrive home, Sasuke finds his daughter sitting in the kitchen. She rises when she hears the door, hugging her father. "Welcome back," Sasuke says to her. "Your mission went well?"

"Yes," she says.

"I'm proud of you," he says with a smile. "I'm always proud of you."

She smiles back and he realizes that, yes, he did it right this time.

* * *

Sometimes, Sasuke will lie awake at night. There are times when he still finds it hard to believe he got everything he wanted most in life.

" _Is this real?"_ he'll ask Naruto.

" _It's real_ ," Naruto will respond. " _I'm real. You're real. We're real_." He never gets impatient; no matter how many times Sasuke asks the question over and over.

Tonight is a night like so many others. Sasuke lies awake. He thinks to himself.

"This is real," Naruto says before Sasuke can get the question out.

Sasuke lets out a quiet little laugh. "I'm sorry."

Naruto rolls over, throwing an arm around the other man. "I don't mind. I just want you to know I'm real."

"I know that," Sasuke says, "But sometimes it all feels too good to be true and then I have doubts. I am happy and I feel like I shouldn't be this happy."

"You deserve to be this happy," Naruto says. "Everyone deserves happiness and you've deprived yourself from it for so long. You've more than made up for any past mistakes."

They always talk until Sasuke grows tired, but Naruto never minds staying up with him during nights when his thoughts begin wandering.

"I love you," Sasuke murmurs, growing groggy. It's no longer a word or a concept that Sasuke fears. Instead, it's something he welcomes. It's something he makes sure to say as much as he can so the people in his life know it.

Naruto gives his husband a sloppy kiss on the jaw. "I love you, too. Now sleep."

 _Have you ever heard the story of the sun and the moon?_

 **Fin.**


End file.
